Venting

Rheumatoid Disease is horrible. It doesn't like to be ignored.

I try my hardest to do everything I "used to do." I love working in the yard, and with 1 acre, there are so many things that require attention or projects that beg to be done.

I love being outside, walking, and just enjoying nature. With 132 acres of trails that call to me. Asking me to go on an adventure, it is difficult to say no.

I hate housework, but being home all day while hubby works, I am the one that needs to get it done. And I do it, willingly.

I want to help the youngest get better at batting. I feel as if I should be the one working on all aspects of baseball and/or basketball with him. Especially during summer since we are home together during the day.

We all fell in love with having a dog when we fostered & babysat 2 dogs. We adopted a beautiful pup, who is nearly full grown, and weighs about 75 lbs. That weight will only increase. We are training him to walk _with_ us, as opposed to pulling us. He doesn't mind the leash, but when he gets excited, he will pull with all his might. He also wants to play (it's a pup thing).

So....for the past 2-3 weeks (if not months), I have been ignoring pain and the warnings my body has been issuing. End of school, baseball season, range therapy, dog-sitting, landscaping, chores, dog ownership, and so much more have taken their toll. Nothing is working properly on my body.

I use sign language to get my hands working in the mornings. Generally 2-3 times through the alphabet make it easy to do what needs to be done, until the muscle stiffness/pain ease (45-60 minutes). I can no longer sign. I cannot hold a cup. Opening water bottles or jars cause enough pain for me to get tears.

Today, I had to admit that I need to stop. That for the time being, Rocket will be my only chore. And maybe other things that don't take a long time, like laundry. All of this has made me cry.